Leading (what could be considered by some) a double life can be very complex. The taboo nature of some of our sextracurricular activities can be extremely exciting and can evoke feelings of arousal, passion and a heat that scalds. Sometimes however, I can get overwhelmed with the secrets that we keep...the naughtiness, the planning and expectations of it all too.
Not sure where I was going with all of that because I came here to simply share a moderately dirty story with you but well, here I am blathering on about my feelings surrounding our relationship and it's complexities ;) The benefits of the lifestyle are obvious (or perhaps not?) and the drawbacks, although few, can be confusing at times and occasionally I find it challenging to stay in the moment while carrying out my daily life in the vanilla world.
Last week I was on a break and texting with a gf, our conversation turned to subjects of a more carnal nature and it wasn't long before I was locking myself in the bathroom slightly breathless and furiously masturbating before I had to return to work. WTF?!?! Do any other women do this? Am I normal? For me, orgasms are like chocolate (or crack) because once I have a little, I always want more. It takes ALL of my strength to stop after just one, so much in fact that sometimes I wonder why I even get started in the first place lol.
Meh, that's enough of that.
Fact or Fantasy. You tell me.
I run my hands over her bruised and swollen ass, marvelling at the raised formations and texture of her thoroughly beaten posterior. For a moment, I consider simply wrapping her up and stealing away to some quiet place where I can kiss her sore parts softly, tell her that she is a good girl and murmur with sweet tenderness that she is a beautiful princess but tonight I am swept away by the darkness of the space I am in. The smoke, the distant muted moans of pleasure and pain, the scent of her wetness reaching my nostrils like a whisper, calling me ever closer all combine to brew the most intoxicating aroma that assaults my senses, almost raping my mind and spirit.
I see my hands reach out and bury themselves in her hair, finding her scalp and pulling hard at the roots. Her head falls back and she looks at me, imploring me to save her...to save her from herself, make the world go away for a moment so that she can lose herself in the sensation of being the focus of my desire. In this moment I have no plan, my need envelopes me with fury and I am living this moment only to bring both exquisite pleasure and excruciating pain.
</time passes and dirtiness ensues>
When it is over and she turns to me for comfort I breathe and coo sweetness into her as I hold her and my heart is swelling with the gratitude of having shared something so intimate, so beautiful and so freeing. As I hold her and the room starts to come back I am acutely aware of our fragility as humans and our innate desire to love and to be loved. The strength of emotion in such an experience is so powerfully poignant that the potency leaves me in shambles for days but alas I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world :)
Rubbery Hugs to All :P